A few years ago, African-American activist, writer, and social critic bell hooks’ book All About Love seemed to be everywhere. So, in the summer of 2023, when I saw it sitting on the front table of my favorite bookstore, I picked it up and went straight to the register. I started reading it that same day, and reading her work changed how I understand intentional love and what it looks like in everyday life. I was so enthralled that I even dusted off grade school principles and started underlining.

Love as a Practice, Not Just a Feeling
In All About Love, bell hooks reframes love not just as a feeling, but as a verb. When we reframe love in this way, love becomes an action, a choice, and even a practice of community care. hooks continues to argue that, in this new framing, love can be a source of healing and that self-love is the foundation through which we can love others. Before reading All About Love, I thought about love as simply a feeling. This isn’t to say that I don’t still think of it this way, but I now also think of all of the practices of care, commitment, and respect I show to my community and myself.

How I Practice Love in Everyday Life
Here are a few ways I practice love for myself and my community:

 1. Hosting my friends for a biweekly girls’ night: creating consistency and a space of communal care.

2. Doing a facemask once a week to give my skin some extra TLC: investing in self-care and rest.

3. Sending my mom curated playlists: attention as an act of love (you know how the quote starts, “to be seen…”)

Reading All About Love during a season when I was looking for ways to feel more grounded in my community, and even rethinking my relationships (romantic, platonic, even with myself), completely shifted how I think about care. I’ve learned that practices of love don’t need to be grand. What matters more is that they’re intentional, consistent, and rooted in reciprocity. I return love to those who offer it to me, and I pour love into myself so I can keep showing up. It turns out the analogy of putting your face mask on first before helping others can be applied to love, too. I’d love to know how you practice love in your own life; let's be friends on socials and keep the conversation going @boldenusa.

Author Bio:
Chabelis works at the intersection of beauty, wellness, community, and culture, creating work that reflects the moment and celebrates collective experience.